YoU GoT To LoSe To KnOw HoW To WiN...

Healing

My heart was not prepared for this
yet it has happened
Though it has been stolen
by unkind deceptions
before you ever came

For this reason, I am wary
Having been torn from my bosom
so many times before
I have kept careful vigil
That I might avoid that
Cruel little death I so abhor

Cut by jagged foul blades
so cruelly and insipidly incised
Obsidian rending flesh
while I screeched in ever
increasing and unyielding pain

So mortally damaged and deranged
I locked and barred the portals and edifices
Of the bashed and battered
mound of now pulpy flesh
That none would do such harm again

and then came a gentle rapping
and a kindly yet urgent voice
sweetly singing at the barred
and barren portal so ensconced

NAY say I, none shall ever
be worthy of interloping here again
No more injury could occur inside
without imminent death of being
Off with ye, none has trodden lightly afore

Still, I heard a tapping
and the sweet singing
that was present here before
and now words can be
heard within the gentle song

aye tis another grand deception
thought I, one more cruel trick
with which to mortally flay me

But this entreat was different
it came with a ring of truth
No bold professions of everlasting
and undying falsities

And as I listened, these words
were different than all before
there were no if's or but's
maybe was never uttered

Clear and untroubled it came
expressed in simple words
honesty, compassion, hope
Intrigued by this
I threw one bolt to better hear

Naer once did I hear the one word
I had been fooled by so many times before
Caring, kindness, healing
I heard these, for the first time
And for the first time, sensed
A simple profound truth within

Locks opened, the door inched
apart a fraction that I might hear
"I will not hurt you" and even though
these same words I'd heard before
The gentle manner in which they
were expressed, was unheard of

" I will heal you if you let me in"
" I know who you are"
What is this? None came close
to this before.

The chains dissolved,
locks, door and all turned to dust
I was understood
I was healed

AnOtHeR DaY HaS GoNe I'm StIlL AlL AlOnE HoW CoUlD ThIs Be YoU'rE NoT HeRe WiTh Me....

"For You, About You"

Was walkin down the memory lane,
And there was a turbulent storm.
I can't recollect much,
But whatever little I do, is too beautiful to be true.

The storm was strident, the storm was wild,
Amidst stood a pillar, the unsung, the unrealised.
Tumultuous waves,tempestuous winds surrounded her,
Yet the pillar stood firm, assured, strong and distinct.

I recognise, I relate, I can redefine her today,
She believes its chimerical; rather impossible she would always say.
Pure, eternal souls which God made really few,
Yes one is you and only you.

So much untold, so much unlived, so much hidden,
Yet it feels the book is open, with pages crisp and forbidden.
I know its late and may be we are close to an end,
But the feeling is true, the feeling of a friend.

You are the music maker,
You are the dreamer of dreams.
I may not be the the best one to tell who you are,
But you are one of the few who is and will always be.

Your voice reveals; didn't get to read your eyes though,
Maybe you are missing the expected, facing the unexpected.
You may laugh at life with cardor of a child,
Inside you is a mature woman; strong, intense; yet innocent and mild.

You really make me believe that I too am somebody,
And believe that days are gone when I was nobody.
Your presence brings a rainbow after the rains,
for you can sketch a silver lining in every stress and strain.

I can't change the past, with all its heartaches and pain,
And I apologise for just not being there.
May be the future doesn't hold me long enough to be there to share,
But I can be there now whenever you need me to care.

We’Ve RuN OuT Of WoRdS, We’Ve RuN OuT Of TiMe, We’Ve RuN OuT Of ReAsOns...But I'm ThErE FoR YoU !!

To Be Or Not To Be

Do you know how it feels like?
When you don’t know what you want.
When it is around you, you feel the warmth,
When not, you don’t feel the chill.
When the heart, mind and soul do not sing in unison,
When there is a conflict between stars and desires.
One moment it is beauty and in another, the beast,
One moment you are the world and in another, anyone but you.

You feel the moira, the cosmos are trying,
But the question is Do you want it to try?
There are flaws too many to count,
Yet there is sempiternal goodness, that all may count out.
My conscience and control say don’t dare to dream,
But my dreams take their own course.
The qualm and quandary in me is not just my reflection,
It’s a reflection of perception of my dream too.

I don’t know is it a good dream or a bad one, neither the dream knows.
I don’t know if I’m capable of living this dream, neither the dream knows.
I even don’t know what the dream yearns, neither the dream knows.
No one knows about this dream, neither the dream knows.
Many a times I haven’t known about myself, but the dream has always known.
But in this tide, why do I have to keep the dream away?
I know it is and will be as beauteous, but is it the best?
The dream maybe is too sure on one edge and I too unsure on the opposite one.

It is with this dream, my saved up wishes come out.
Sometimes wish to see the dream in its eyes and its eyes everywhere around.
I don’t want to wake up, the dream is beautiful.
The dream is a mirage, maybe deserved, maybe way ahead.
The heart fears the dream may leave,
Leave me beyond forever and I may still be sleeping.
Its been long and has been this way and may be will always be.
And I surrender to the skies for they only will perform the mirabilia if it is meant to be.

ThErE's A WoRlD OuTsIdE EvErY DaRkEnEd DoOr..

I just can’t sleep. I cant even take you out of my head. I think of you endlessly like my promise of loving you forever.
You may lose your grip but never will I. You may forget what we had and having me one time in your life but i will never ever forget how happy I am when you came and stopped by for a while in my life.
You may broke your promises to me and may be I am angry for sometime. You may hurt me but I will love you still. You may see me cry but there will be still laughter beneath those tears because your there in my darkest days.
I’ll give my all just to have another moment with you. I can even risk my life just to save yours. I am so deeply in love with you.
I will never leave you in your darkest times.
I’ll be your light when your too scared in the night.
I’ll lift you up when your too weak to stand up.
I will never ever let go of you.
Your memories.
The way you smile.
The way you lock your hands into mine.
The way you look me in the eyes.
The way you say how much you love me.
There is a boxful of sweet good memories when you leave.
Memories that will be kept here in my heart and mind.

You TeLl Me ThAt YoU NeEd Me ThEn YoU Go AnD CuT Me DoWn...

A Friend I Lost Somewhere

You and me were a witness, some things did change,

The times, the situations, the expressions have become oh’ so strange.
What was the altercation that led to this alteration,
Was it me, was it you or was there a glitch in the relation.

It started as if it would never end,
I felt fortunate, I knew I had a true friend.
There was no foreboding, no things to hide,
Heart felt a promise that seasons would slide.

Emotions, esprit, equations, everything seemed fine,
I believed in your beliefs and you in mine.
I had your wings and I could fly.
Didn’t care for the world, who wanted to hold me by.

But somewhere we forgot that we had promised to stay,
For days and days we went on repugnant ways.
A strange silence between the two,
A different me and a different you.

The bond was shattered, we surely had one.
The paths seemed barren on once we had run.
You made your friends and I made mine.
But there was a feeling which wasn’t fine.

We wanted to talk, but there was a ghost we feared,
A ghost of misunderstanding, the backwash of which we both teared.
Some times were dark and I wanted your light,
But don’t know why, couldn’t ask you to make it right.

There were differences, I won’t deny.
But the warmth and care was always standing by.
The comity and concern didn’t shook a bit,
It was just that I had stopped myself from showing it.

I regret the fact that we didn’t clear things out,
Why did we allow the misunderstandings to pile up and mount.
I wanted to tell you that I am not a foe,
But stopped myself coz I felt you really wanted to go.

You made me realize, you made me rise,
I felt a miracle as I saw a friend in your eyes.
Memories of moments can never fade away,
You’ll be a friend, who will always always stay and blossom.

I'd RaThEr FeEl PaIn ThAn NoThInG At AlL...

Everyone in this world has a jigsaw-puzzle-like life. Every fragment represents the things we want in life and is essential to make our lives complete. They could be wealth, power, fame or love. But what could be the hardest one to find? Wealth? It takes great perseverance. Power? It takes great strength. Fame? It takes great persona. But love… it can take us a lifetime to find someone who can replace those little fragments of the puzzle and fill in the missing pieces of our soul.

Lucky are those people who have been able to complete their puzzle without scouring too hard. In some instances, some people were bewildered by the wrong one which had given them that special spark or that fuzzy feeling. Whatever you call it. But sparks may die down like fireworks and the “fuzzy feeling” has always been a subtle sign. If they’re not meant to fit in our lives, they won’t, no matter how hard we try to.

We might get amazingly blinded by the wrong one and just pass over the right one and would only realize it after all the chips are down. Usually, but sadly, it’s always too late to get them back.

Well this isn’t about picking the wrong one. It’s about finding the right one.

I AiN't GoT NoThInG To HiDe BaBy I TeLl YoU My SeCrEtS..

I tend to worry a lot which makes me over think a lot of stuff. This can lead to anything, and that's the bad part. It tends to end relationships dead and I was just wondering how everyone copes with the whole worry thing, I mean I have nothing to worry about but i still do and I shouldn't because I already know the answers.

So really m asking for advice on how to control it instead of questions. . . . . so any ideas would be much appreciated :)

LoVe Me, HaTe me... SaY WhAt YoU WaNt AbOuT Me !!

Dreams Blossom Into Priceless Treasures


It is natural for me to miss someone but this girl I used to love is different for she makes me feel that I'm out of my mind. Every time that I'm alone and whenever I hear love songs playing on the radio my tears starts falling down on my cheeks.

Well, I cant blame myself for I loved her unconditionally. I expected too much on her. I thought that she can love me the way I do. I believed on promises she made and its late when I realize that promises are made to be broken.

Now I had learned one solid thing; that nothing in this damn world is permanent. Everything will fade; beauty, things, memories and also love. It just depends on the person how will she handle it and if she will enjoy every moment of it.

Every person wishes to find their love and live happily ever after but unfortunately real life doesn't work that way. We gotta take life for what it is and live it to the best that we can.

It sucks how one can treat me like that but things are better off for me right now. Who's to say what the future will hold for either of me but as long as I live in the moment with no regret, I'll get what I deserve and just hope for the best for her too.

WoRdS Do HuRt. WhEtHeR Or NoT YoU AcT Or ThInK LiKe It DoEsN't, It Does.

If only in dreams

If in dreams I could still have you,
if in dreams you'd still love me too,
if in dreams there could still be me and you,
then I won't wish for reality if it only means losing you.

If in dreams I could still hold you,
if in dreams your promises would be true,
if in dreams you wouln't find someone new,
then I won't live in reality if it means living without you...

If in dreams you would always stay,
if in dreams, beside you I still could lay,
if in dreams nothing could come our way,
then I won't ask for reality if reality means pain...

If in dreams I could still feel your kiss,
if in dreams you'd treasure our mem'ries,
if in dreams it would still be me that you need,
then let me keep on dreaming if reality means tears...

If in dreams I would still feel your body next to mine,
if in dreams we could last a lifetime,
if in dreams I could turn back the hands of time,
then I won't ask for reality if it means you'll be leaving me behind...

If in dreams you would come back,
if in dreams we could have what we had,
if in dreams we would never be apart,
then in dreams I will live because reality hurts so bad...

but then again dreams are just dreams,
I'll wake up again after a long sleep,
the pain goes on as the new day begins,
for the dreams I held in my heart got away with just a blink...

Why I HuRt YoU Is I ReAlLy DoN't WaNnA Do BuT I Do It MaY Be I Am GeTtInG ToO PoSseSsIvE. WiSh U LuCk !! MaY U AlWaYs BlOSsOM

Restless

Here I am, restless in my bed again.
Wondering if I ever cross your busy mind.
Wondering if the sight of your face will ever light up my eyes again.
I am afraid of losing you.
Afraid that I will never touch you again.
I miss the memories we made.
How we made love everyday.
How every word you tell me comforts even the deepest fears I have.
I love you.
And because I love you I will justify how devoted I am to you.
Regardless of what happened, I will never give up on you.
I will never quit on the promise my love made to you.
Your love for me I could never repay,
And someday you will see that we were meant to be together.
We were meant to get married and have kids.
We were meant to live our lives with nothing but love to fall back on.
I love you.
And because I love you, here I am.
Restless in my bed again.
Wondering if I ever cross your busy mind.
Wondering how a perfect love can go wrong.
But I will never give up because I am in love.
I may falter, but I will never fail.
I am too persistent to fail on you.
You are my driving force, the reason I do my best.
But without you, I am lost. I cannot go on.
So I'm asking myself,
Why am I here restless in my bed again.
Wondering if I ever cross your busy mind.
And today I swear this vow.
I am not an angel but I am true.
I will always love you.

A LeSsOn I'vE LeArNeD ToO WeLl, FoR SuRe So DoN't HaNg Up ThE PhOnE NoW..

So I’m still on a little blogging break. Hopefully I will be back next week with Stuff To Say.

Maybe I'm being cynical but i don’t feel like falling in love again which makes me actually feel a little wounded and makes me think I might be alone for a while. Is this a bad thing?

Maybe but i enjoy my days and I'm inspired. It can’t be a bad thing to care for yourself and do things out of love and not for personal gain. My life has clarity and rings like crystal which is an amazing feeling.

I first discovered this in free diving. when you dive to your threshold it becomes a matter of trust in yourself. Your body tells you to turn back and your mind barks but you don’t turn back because you know something greater than what your body is capable of telling you. I believe this same act applies to matters of the mind and even the heart.

FrIeNdShIp DaY SpEcIaL !!

I write a blog and I sometimes write in a personal fashion, and people connect to that. Friendship is not a state of mind, it’s an act. It’s something you do, it’s not about whether you’re good or not, it’s not a reflection of you, it’s a balanced relationship between people. That doesn’t mean it’s always balanced at every moment. Sometimes you “need a friend” and other times it’s the other way. It’s a trust that’s returned. Friendship and love are not quite the same thing, although there’s a lot of love around friendship.

sometimes in friendships we're quick to blame others in times of trouble. But there are friends that just do the right things at the right moments. My best friend is an example. I'm not saying everything is perfect – we've had our fair share of rough patches but there are times when I needed her and she just seem to be there. She makes things so easy for me even when I'm down depressed to the rock bottom.

So take a moment and think about a friend who's been there for a long time and who had always helped you and appreciate them. Here's just a couple of points on how you can do that:

* Make your friend a mixed CD of all the songs that define your friendship (or ones that you just happen to mutually like!)
* Submit a Friendship Tribute to your friend to be posted on the web.
* Call all those old friends you haven't spoken to in ages.. remember the girl scout motto: "Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold"!
* Write a nice card for your friend telling them how much you appreciate their friendship.
* Spill out your heart to them as though there is no tomorrow.
* Make a special friendship book for your best friend. Include photos, quotes and poetry telling your friends how special they are.
* Send your friend a Happy Friendship Day greeting online to brighten their day.

I NeVeR WaNnA HeAr YoU SaY, I WaNt It ThAt WaY..

Don’t stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you’ve been thinking of



When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back to you

Try not to worry ’bout a thing
Enjoy the good times life can bring
Keep it all inside you
Gotta let the feeling show
Imagination is the key
‘Cos you are you’re own destiny
You never should be lonely
When time is on your side.