Today is yet another day of the sameness of my life. The same thoughts, the same sadness, the same worries. Everyday happens but nothing changes…is it because of me?
I sit here in my room…the only place where I can take off my mask and reveal even if only to myself my inner torment. I don’t know how to explain the darkness that follows me every minute of everyday waiting for me to finally give up and let it consume me.
I don’t know why I am tormented by my inner demons but they persist and I have not learned how to escape from them. They are my constant companion. They are Doubt, Fear, and Sabotage.
Why is it I always fall pray to these melancholy moments? Why can’t I just have it figured out and not be unraveling?
I mean everyone’s past shapes who/how they are in the present and I seem unable to escape from it. Sometimes I just want to forget everything and everyone and leave to start fresh somewhere else.
I used to think I was strong in mind, body, and soul. It is only now that I see it was a false strength used to hide the hollowness inside of me. Day by day, step by step I want to be strong from the inside out and I want to feel liberated from my chains. My past will always be a part of who I am but it won’t hold me down from living, loving, or dreaming.
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