ThE SoUl CaNnOt ThInK WiThOuT A PiCtUrE.

My Multicolored Soul

As far as Tuesday go today could have gone better, but I am thankful for this moment in time to collect and share my thoughts. I cannot begin to express what writing is to me. If I couldn’t write it would be as if I could not speak or see. If I could not put my thoughts into words I would have nothing but chaos inside of me.

It’s the same with music, it speaks to me in a way that regular speech never could. It evokes a response from me and it gives me that warmth. comfort, and understanding that I can never find with people. Therefore, I am thankful for music and my ability to write.

Trying to be perfect made me miserable because perfection has no place in reality. Humans will never be perfect….I will never be perfect. Perfection is undefinable because everyone has their own definition. It is liberating when you realize that you can’t/don’t have to be perfect. I am flawed, a mess, a jumble of craziness, and unique because there is only one of me. Hehe….it was so hard to admit to myself that I was flawed but now I realize being flawed doesn’t mean I am horrible…it means I am a human being. It means that my flaws are what makes me stand out just as much as my gift. I am quirky and that is okay with me.

As for people, you learn who your true friends are with time and experiences. I have learned what it means to be and have a true friend and what it means to not. It hurts to lose someone because for me they have taken a piece of my soul with them and I can never get it back. You can never get back the time you spent on that relationship or friendship but you can learn from it and grow through it.

Whatever the reason, it hurt and it still hurts.Why is it that I see myself as the cause of discord? I think my past has a lot to do with that, but that story is for another time. I am learning not to blame myself or take responsibility when I know in my heart I did my part as a friend and they didn’t. I think through losing friends you learn to value the ones you have even more. I have discovered those true friends and it has enriched my existence. Some more than others, but they have shaped and stretched me to be me. They don’t try to make me into something I am not. They love me and accept me and that makes my life beautiful.

I have always believed that the quality of friends is far greater than the quantity of them. I will always believe that. A person’s character is what attracts me to them and what keeps me with them.I think about the ones I have and it comes down to those moments when you let someone see you, your weakness, uniqueness, beauty, flaws, and they acknowledge yours while sharing theirs.